


The Kidfic AU - 4

by Tieleen



Series: The Kidfic AU [4]
Category: Bandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-25
Updated: 2010-08-25
Packaged: 2017-10-11 06:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/109251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tieleen/pseuds/Tieleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're too young to be juvenile delinquents!" Pete yells at the rear view mirror. "I was at <em>least</em> seventeen before I started pulling stupid shit like that!" This is, technically, a huge lie. He hopes his mom isn't going to rat him out on the next visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kidfic AU - 4

"You're too young to be juvenile delinquents!" Pete yells at the rear view mirror. "I was at _least_ seventeen before I started pulling stupid shit like that!" This is, technically, a huge lie. He hopes his mom isn't going to rat him out on the next visit.

Oh, god. He really kind of fervently hopes his mom's going to go into seizures when she hears about this, because the other option is that she's going to laugh so hard her eyeballs will fall out.

"So they can start getting arrested when they hit seventeen?" Ryan mutters from the passenger seat. "Great going, dad."

Pete has actually had three years now to get used to the fact that he adopted six kids because he was married to a man awesome enough to stop even children raised by Pete Wentz from becoming serial killers, and now all any of them has to look to is his own blessed influence. That hasn't been the most painful thing he had to get used to, but it was definitely the most terrifying. This is really the first major sign in all that time that his theory is right, but seriously, Ryan isn't nearly as helpful as he thinks he is.

"I wasn't setting things on fire even then!" he says, which is also a lie, though a smaller one.

"It was just an old couch," Frank says, clutching the seat in front of him, which happens to be Ryan's. "We weren't destroying somebody's stuff."

"You were _setting things on fire_," Pete says, a little hysterically. "Someone could get _hurt_, and I mean seriously hurt -- you know what, that's it, we're going to the hospital to look at burns tomorrow."

"He's eleven," Ryan reminds him helpfully from the side.

"Well, you know what, if he's old enough to risk doing it, he's old enough to see it," Pete says decisively. "What were you guys _thinking_?"

"We thought it would be funny," Brendon says from behind him, which is the first thing he's said since the police station. While Frank looks horrified but defensive (and still leaning as far into the front as he can while not passing the actual line between Pete and Ryan's seats, leaning as much as he dares into the fight; his kid is such a dumb shit. Pete wishes he didn't like that so much about him.), Brendon's just looked completely terrified. Pete tells himself he can't relent just because one kid's voice is shaking and the other one has tears in his eyes, because that is how you end up with the _serial killers_. Also, pyromaniacs.

"So?" he says, cuttingly, scowling up at the red light. "Was it _funny_?"

"No," Frank says, in a small voice. "Well -- it was before the cops got there --" and Ryan turns to smack him over the head, though he probably does it for the sheer lack of survival instinct and not the actual sentiment.

"Don't hit your brother," Pete says dutifully. "So, tell me this: if instead of the police coming it was paramedics coming because you, or your brother, or one of your dumbass friends, or, I don't know, a _dog_ that was going by, _whatever_, caught on fire, would _that_ be funny?"

"No," says Brendon, actually crying now. Pete hates life.

"You guys are grounded until you're ninety," he tells them, and hits the gas.


End file.
